


you are not alone

by ninemoons42



Series: Dragon Age Inquisition - Kiriya - Original Flavor [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Banter, F/M, Holding Hands, Late Night Conversations, Nightmares, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 14:49:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4750301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninemoons42/pseuds/ninemoons42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skyhold provides no protection against nightmares.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you are not alone

_Hands pulling at her, weight pulling her down, and green green flaring light, a face contorted in hatred and malice, blood on her fingers --_

_Not this, not again, I can’t look back, if I look back I am lost --_

And for a few heart-stopping moments she _knew_ she was still lost in dreams, _knew_ at the same time that she was in her bed and that she was safe in Skyhold, and she couldn’t wake up, couldn’t open her eyes -- 

Kiriya gasped.

She sat up. Starlight and the distant lightening blue on the horizon that meant the slow approach of dawn. Pillows scattered about her. The pain in her clenched fists, knuckles showing white even in the half-dark.

The same dream, night after night.

She would have taken dealing with an Archdemon over that.

She sobbed, once, hitching breath in the not-quite-silence, and she wrapped her arms around her own shivering frame.

Maker, how could she return to sleep, to those dreams, to those tears?

She pulled some leather armor on over her tunic and breeches. Holdout knives in the tops of her boots, and something larger -- something less discreet -- at her waist. Not that she was expecting danger, but she wanted something to hold on to, after waking up the way she did.

Up to the battlements. Skyhold slept around her climbing footsteps. Whispers in the corners and the faint flickering flames. Night watches and the first stirrings of waking. 

She gritted her teeth against an unwelcome draft and turned the next corner -- and only her battle-honed senses caught her in time, before running into an imposing shadow, before the collision -- 

“Maker’s breath.”

And that voice was familiar, grounding. It was a voice she knew. A voice she could hold on to. Perhaps she’d never be able to get so close to its owner, but -- there was that voice. At least there was still that.

“I am sorry,” Kiriya whispered. “I didn’t know you’d still be up.”

A guttering flame. Shadows that weren’t just the lack of moon and stars and the fact that they were standing in on a windowless landing between floors. Cullen seemed somewhat diminished without his armor, worn and weary and wary. 

She watched him blink, watched him check behind her -- and she did the same. No one on the stairs behind him. She could do that for him. “Just you and me,” she said.

“That’s the surprising part,” Cullen said. She’d never seen him shuffle awkwardly before. “I -- I expected to be alone.”

Kiriya tried a little smile on him, something placating. 

His eyes swung back towards her, then sharpened. “You were woken up by something.”

“I was.” Kiriya sighed, and stepped aside. “Were you going up or down?”

“Down,” Cullen said, and so she fell into step beside him. Retracing her steps. 

“I was hoping there’d still be something to eat, late though it was,” he continued.

Kiriya shook her head. “This isn’t the first time I’ve been up in the middle of the night. Everything’s been put away by now. But -- ” She stopped on the next landing. “But maybe if you don’t mind coming with me?”

Cullen blinked, and inclined his head. “Lead on, Inquisitor.”

“So formal,” Kiriya said, and it was oddly easy to chuckle, stifled and brief though it was. “Especially since -- the food I was talking about? It’s in my quarters.” She shook her head. “It’s not much, a few wrinkled apples, a little cheese -- you don’t mind?”

“Sounds like a feast, actually.”

“On one condition,” she said, as she pushed her door open.

She watched him as he stepped in, hesitated, and sat down carefully at the foot of the bed. “Condition.”

“I’m not referring to you as _Commander_ right now, so please don’t call me _Inquisitor_ \-- I have a name, Cullen, Andraste won’t kill you for using it.” She smiled and retrieved a covered basket from a shelf next to her closet. 

“Lady Trevelyan?” Cullen asked, one eyebrow cocked.

Kiriya made a face, in response, and said, “You can either eat these apples or _wear_ them, your choice,” and picked up an apple, aimed it at his shoulder.

“I’ll eat, I’ll eat,” Cullen said. “Kiriya.”

“That’s better.” She took one of the other apples for herself and sat down on the nearest window sill, just an arm’s length away from Cullen.

A little bread, next -- it was only a little stale -- and then she broke the chunk of hard cheese into two, keeping the smaller bit for herself. “You can take that with you,” she said, licking crumbs from her wrist. “I can always get more provisions.”

She watched him finish eating, watched him get to his feet. Was he leaving? She tried to keep her emotions away from her face. If he were to leave, if he were to abandon her to the merciless lingering night, the shadows of her dreams -- she’d have to slip out. She could steal a bottle of wine from the Herald’s Rest; she’d done it before -- 

“What woke you up?”

Kiriya blinked.

Cullen was standing over her, not -- not quite looming, and not quite stooping to her level. Just -- he was there, trying to meet her eyes, trying to respect her space.

And the look in his eyes was sympathetic and kind and -- strangely -- inviting.

Kiriya got to her feet and leaned against the window. She had to stop herself from crossing her arms; she settled for crossing her legs at the ankle, instead. Nothing to hide from him. “Bad dreams.”

The scar on Cullen’s lip quirked with his grim little smile. “That sounds familiar.”

And she thought about Cassandra’s quiet accounts of Kirkwall. About Varric’s haunted eyes.

Maybe it was the thought of commiseration that made her reach out -- and then Cullen’s hand was wrapping around hers, the two of them meeting halfway.

His hand was so warm. Familiar. Calluses and scars and Maker knew what else. 

Reassuring.

And she said, very softly, “These bad dreams of yours. Do you get them often?”

“More than I’d care to admit.” Was Cullen examining her hand? Kiriya couldn’t pull away.

“And you?” he asked, after a moment.

Kiriya closed her eyes. “Every night.”

“I wonder how you could hold on.”

“Just barely.” And Kiriya folded her free hand around Cullen’s searching fingers.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“This,” Kiriya said, and smiled, and met his eyes.

Such pain in the lines of his face, but his eyes -- Cullen’s eyes were filled with kindness.

She didn’t know how long she stood facing him -- how long he stood there -- until the shadows in the room began to fade away and there was a sharp whistle coming from the training grounds.

Before her, Cullen blinked, and made as if to pull away. “I -- ”

“It’s all right,” Kiriya said, and Maker it was hard to pull away from him. From his hands. “You have your duties, and I mine.”

When he had stepped out into the corridor she began to push the door closed.

And then: “Kiriya?”

She blinked, and looked out at him again. “Did you just call me by my name?”

“It seems I have. And I did it for a reason.”

“Which is?”

“Perhaps we could help each other,” Cullen said, “the next time these nightmares of ours strike.”

The words were out of her mouth before she could think about them: “Yes, perhaps we could.”

And then Cullen was striding away, no doubt hurrying back to his tower, and Kiriya looked at her crumpled sheets, at the impression he’d left, and the night still held its threats and its ghosts.

But perhaps she wouldn’t have to face that darkness alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Featuring the character I intend to play when I finally get my hands on DA:I -- my human female rogue Inquisitor, double-dagger-wielding Kiriya Trevelyan.
> 
> Have been writing fanfiction for a long time, but this is my first DA fic -- so please be kind :)
> 
> I am also on [tumblr](http://ninemoons42.tumblr.com/) and my Dragon Age: Inquisition blog is [here](http://ninemoons42-inquisition.tumblr.com/).


End file.
